The important question

Marcelo has a strong propensity towards fantasy. He is at that age, after all, of magical thinking. But, his thinking up until recently, seems to have been almost entirely of the magical kind. I admit he was probably too young to watch Wonka and the Chocolate Factory at three. He's still suffering from some residual magical thinking that sends him into a panic whenever someone is about to put purple gum in their mouth or any other unfamiliar, brightly colored confection. 

In the past year, we've had two pets pass away. He wasn't terribly close to them due to his allergies which prevented him from petting and playing with them. Nevertheless, I made sure to include the kids in a small burial ceremony on the side yard to see that they understood what had happened and be able to say their goodbyes. This has been his only real experience with death.

It's been a little while since our dog, Dudi passed away from old age, but a couple of weeks ago, while driving Sofia to school, we passed a cemetery, and Marcelo says to me, "Mommy, I don't want to die". A shock of terror struck me at hearing these words outside of myself from a piece of myself. The ultimate existential crisis. I tried to not let myself fall in the pit of hopeless sorrow that would naturally be the given course for an existentialist. So my next thought was to be glad that he had at this young age, recognized that dying sucks and that he was not on board with that. There was some relief in seeing him come to this conclusion. Although, oblivion may be a blessing in disguise, it naturally causes a small degree of worry in me too. Sofia has never expressed any concern about the prospect of dying. Sofia requested that she be buried with blanket and Guy in a grave next to Nike and Dudi. A person in my position has a hard time with this. But this state causes a problem. It is ultimately worse on one's mental health to be as fully aware of death as I am so it's also not a point of view or state of mind, I should say, I would ever want to pass on [inflict] on my own children.

So I told him that it was OK to feel this way and that in fact, it is good to feel this way because it showed that he has a good survival instinct. And that it makes sense for everyone to feel this way, because that makes us cautious about our lives and ensures that we get to live for as long as we can. I thought I did OK with this trial and hadn't caused any undo existential damage to him.

A few weeks later, we drive past another cemetery and he thoughtfully utters the same words to me. More existential angst courses through me. His words have meaning. His words have thoughts. I know that thought won't leave him now. How young was I when I had this thought. I don't know. I think it snuck up on me much later in life. I tried another route which is one that does nothing for me and did not feel as genuine coming out of my mouth as the other discourse about survival. Everything dies. It's the natural course of things. The cycle of life. At least when I grow old and pass on, you, who are a part of me will still be here. You will live on. And when you grow old and it's time for you to pass on, you will have children that will live on.

Maybe, he is to be the most like me. I don't know if I should be happy or sad.

Cozumel Dolphin Encounter

Things you say

"Mommy, I swallowed a skunk before. But, it was just in a dream."

Desk space

Marcelo has a new desk space in his room. I decided to make him a little desk in his closet. I didn't want to spend very much because he will probably outgrow it in a couple of years. This bottom side of the closet was used for toy storage as well as a laundry basket full of odds and ends including an unused crib bumper. I guess it's time I clean that stuff out and figure out what to do with it. I opted for this closet desk because Marcelo's room has such a serene vibe, I didn't want to clutter it all up. Having it in the closet means he can have what ever he's working on in there and then we can shut the doors on it and still have a clean room. Another reason for the closet desk was to give Marcelo more options during Quiet Time. Lately, he's been wanting to color, draw, and build things, and the expensive(to me), wool zebra rug is not a great place to do that.

We only had to buy the desk platform, and got everything else from the house so this project only cost about $10.00! Now he has a workspace, a basket of plain paper for drawing, bins with scissors (those might have to go at the first sign of mischief), coloring pencils, flashlight, story cubes, magnifying glass, Woody, etc. He also has a magnet board where he can display and admire his own art. Right now, it's holding up a treasure map and pirate eye patch. He also has geometric magnet shapes to play with on there. Below, we can still store the less attractive toys in a green bin and the "little pieces" toys in clear stackable bins with lids for easy access and storage.



Before.  Not really because this is after I took out all the toys and miscellaneous itmes off the floor including the stuff in front of the closet door.



Before closer.



Rails, brackets, and desk surface in place.  Easy Peasy.

Above the desk is an array of winter coats and hideous hand-me down jackets and things that were way too big for him anyway. More useless things being stored. I was about to give them to charity or something but then decided that he could use them for dress up. This whole top side of the closet could be the dress-up section. So I put Sofia's old cowboy boots in there too and his newly found batman mask.
I opted to support the desk platform on rails with brackets because he's not going to be at this height forever and eventually, it will need to be moved up or re-purposed as shelves for toys again or clothes. So this was an economical way to do it and it didn't require screwing a ledger board onto the wall. We slapped a little push/sensor light on the bottom of the top shelf which turns off when you close the closet door.  I also managed to find a little surprised when I pulled down the two orange memorabilia boxes, the last little monsters wall decal.  I didn't put this one up because the firey red devlish monster didn't fit in for me in his baby nursery.  Now, after he ripped off all the other monsters with the exception of the one over the closet doors, this one fits in great.  Hopefully it will still be there tomorrow.

He loves his new little space. Of course the first thing he and Sofia decided to do with it was put his Lalaloopsy doll to sleep on the desk.

PreK Writing

When the job of sounding out letters, blending letters, and reading seems a bit too daunting, Marcelo takes a break from Rusty & Rosie to come in the study for some hands-on PreK activities.  Today he decided, the previously daunting task of forming letters was pretty appealing.  He had me write his name and ALL of the letters.  He actually did quite well compared to the last time I saw him form his letters.  Apparently he thought so too because he went ahead and checked each one off after completing his work.

Little chef helper

I decided to make an enormous batch of spinach puree. Why, because Sofia and Marcelo have gone from being great eaters to horribly picky eaters and I need to inject them with spinach puree at night while they're sleeping.  Normally, I get the organic baby spinach, but Ray likes to make my life harder so he got the regular spinach which requires that you take off the stems.  I started the painstaking process and Marcelo was jumping at the bit to help me out.  Since no one else was offering, I obliged him.  He was SO excited to be allowed to do this job. You can tell by how far back his lips are sucked into his mouth with that crazy smile. I didn't think his enthusiasm would last long but we kept making "one more batch", I think just so we could enjoy each other's company.  Of course when the spinach was steamed and pureed, my enormous batch was more like a couple of little cupfuls.  I hate how that happens.  Thanks for helping me Marcelo.

What is going on here?

Lately, I have given Sofia and Marcelo some heightened expectations with respect to their daily routines.  After waking up, they are to get dressed and make their beds independently before coming down for breakfast.  They've been quite good at doing so thanks to Accountable Kids, a program I'll have to talk about a little bit later.  It is a well know fact that I was born loathing the morning. After rolling out of bed and brushing my teeth, I then meet them downstairs as I try to pry my unwilling eyes open without causing myself an ocular migraine.  That was very unpleasant back in 2008.

So... on this fine day, after all our morning routine activities (homeschool, online preschool, lunch, playing) where completed in the downstairs of the house, I came up to the second floor with Marcelo and Peter for Quiet Time.  I love Quiet Time.  It's really quiet.  Well, most of the time.  Upon reaching Marcelo's bedroom door, I was greeted with this happy scene. It kind of made my day, for some reason. Immediately, I wondered -what the hell have these stuffed animals been up to?  And, how did they get this way?  They are always in baskets on the floor with the exception of Bear & Blanky which are usually the only ones allowed on Marcelo's bed.

Apparently, there was a big party going in Marcelo's bedroom this morning, and I didn't even know about it.  God help me when Sofia and Marcelo are teenagers.